In an ideal world, vacation will only be full of good times and good memories. Unfortunately, most people do not exist in that simple reality.
It seems that every family has at least one relative who is good at making dramas during the holidays. When you are with such a negative or aggressive person, you usually feel anxious, defensive and uncomfortable. Your body may respond to exacerbated conditions by producing too much adrenaline or cortisol, which can make you feel more anxious and stressed.
Family conflict instigator
There are many reasons for controversy during holiday parties. Some people want to be the center of every conversation. Other family members only like to create plays.
The following are some common causes of family conflict:
There must be gossip at every family gathering, and negative or critical gossip will cause emotional disputes everywhere she goes. People who often gather at parties are nasty mouths. He has no filters and will not hesitate to inform you that you have gained weight since he last saw you.
Drinking can make some people happy, while others are depressed and mean. Liquid courage is known to relax the tongue and reduce inhibition. For people who like to stir the pot by raising controversial or politically colored topics, alcohol can encourage all kinds of bad behavior.
A family member may have aggressive tendencies, prompting them to become aggressive. Many people are motivated by arguments and seek conflict. If they can attract you to the debate, then the low energy of their frontal brain will be stimulated, and this rush will make them feel better temporarily.
Don’t let your anger become their medicine. They will be addicted!
So, how do you deal with people who thrive in conflict? To be confusing by raising your voice or using insulting or indecent language will certainly not help.
Avoiding confrontation is not the solution, because minimizing or ignoring disputes may make the aggressor bolder and make the situation worse. To deal with disagreements effectively, please remain calm and appropriate when disagreements occur.
Here are some practical ways to prevent family conflicts during this holiday:
Simple ways to keep peace and avoid holiday disputes
To avoid getting out of control in a stressful situation, always stay calm. Train yourself to be quiet until you are quiet enough to speak in a normal volume and in a friendly tone. Monitor your comments and reactions closely to make sure they come from a rational place, not an emotional place.
Make sure to provide thoughtful advice instead of criticism. Voice pitch is essential to eliminate potential instability. Always follow your example by calm behavior, others may follow your example.
When someone raises their voice or starts to lose their temper, please pause the family gathering. This type of collective breathing involves everyone in the family going to another part of the house during a designated period of time (usually 10-15 minutes).
Spending some time with other family members may help everyone settle down and forget to argue. The cooling-off period only works if your whole family agrees, so make sure everyone agrees to the timeout to avoid other disputes.
During intense discussions or intense moments, some people have the ability to psychologically escape to a happy place. Others can sing a song to distract themselves.
I hope you don’t have to bite the bullet and remain silent, but it is worth trying anything to avoid being dragged into family disputes.
Try to whisper
When other people yelled, they started speaking in low voices. The decibel level of the sound changes drastically, and it is likely that everyone will stop talking to hear what you are about to say. When someone is whispering, something in our hearts makes us lean in and listen more attentively.
From the boardroom to the political assembly, this strategy has been extremely successful. If the family dispute is out of control, try whispering to see if it can get everyone’s attention. Then, you can try to escalate the conflict.
Build a bridge
Instead of trying to convince others that your point of view is correct, try to understand their point of view. The main purpose is not to win arguments, but to eliminate potential threats, solve problems and find common ground with others.
Building a bridge is one of the best ways to avoid quarrels even before you start.
Take it outside
When caught in a discussion that makes you uncomfortable, find a way to redirect the conversation. If that doesn’t work, find a polite way to get yourself out of trouble.
Another strategy is to let the whole family go out for fun and exercise. This is an effective way to release some energy when things in the house are too tense.
Some people say that holidays will bring people the best and worst holidays. When it comes to the latter, you don’t have to let others spoil your vacation.
Practicing these conflict management strategies can help ensure that everyone in the family has a fun-filled, worry-free vacation.
The BrainMD team wishes you and you a safe, healthy and happy holiday!
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